No Muska please

Twitter, “the place of the digital city” according to Elon Musk, is in turmoil before swallowing hard this “big bite” by the billionaire bad boy. $44 billion was thrown across the boardroom table with such “momentum” by our new tech baron, Elon.

The perfect takeover artist ostensibly did this to maintain his image of being a “speech absolutist” (whatever that means). Twitter’s bluebird is all in a flutter and much of Twitterati is in a blue funk.

The “poison pill” strategy didn’t work to keep Elon’s marauding hands away from the social media giant. Only people like Socrates could drink the cup of poison hemlock to defend his views.

Our sweet Bharat Bro, newly installed as the head of Twitter, apparently had a back seat driver in the guise of Jack Dorsey, who was fired as Twitter CEO under pressure. Still on the board, he got to know the maverick new owner. So how could the Twitter Board turn down a tempting offer from Musk?

But the majority of employees aren’t too keen on the prospect of modern-day Croesus taking over at the age of 50. There are issues regarding the lack of content moderation which ends in an invasion of trolls and less tolerance of diverse opinions.

Elon Musk himself displays a singular aggressiveness when criticized. And his first Tweet after the privatization of Twitter in response to alarm bells ringing around the social networking platform used by more than 200 million users every day was “The extreme antibody reaction of those who fear the freedom of expression speaks volumes!

Perfect teenage petulance and the joy of arousing the desire to own an expensive toy. Ab to Musk ka hai, aur Muska hi chalega! Who knows, he might persuade Trump to return to the platform. He tweeted his displeasure with Twitter’s top lawyer Vijaya Gadde’s content moderation policies from the start. She’s the one who kicked Trump out of Twitter.

Musk reached into the cookie jar of his electric vehicle company Tesla Inc. to raise a few million towards the acquisition of Twitter. He’s still unspaced with his company Space X’s launches giving people spill-free thrills. For it’s his team’s innovations in making the world’s first orbital-class reusable rocket called Falcon 9 that have the world in their grip.

Musk’s theatrics should be taken with a big pinch of salt. Don’t lose your sleep over his next takeover targets. He wants to revamp “good old” Coke to put cocaine back in and even take over friendly McDonalds to fix all the ice cream machines. He can tweet to his heart’s content with more ironic juvenile mockery since he’ll be the Big Boss. Elon is more of a joking knight than a jousting knight.

Kudos to the Amul creative triumvirate for instantly using the Twitter takeover in their Amul cheese ad. Brilliant pun with great marketing! ‘Yeh cheez badi hai Musk Musk! And the tagline, “Share it, don’t have it Elon”! is a scintillating combination of a Bollywood song, a pun and sweet marketing with the advice to share the product. Mumbai’s Iranian cafes could emulate Amul and give the “Maska Bun” neighborhood they serve a makeover. Call it ‘Musk-ka-Bun’ until the current hubbub around Twitter lasts.

But Mumbai’s Iranian cafes have survived and retained their quaintness without Musk’s help so far. Britannia Company has crackers advertised as “50-50: Maska Chaska”. Now, Twitterati will have to post “Musk-ka-Chaska” willy-nilly — not 50-50 but 100% unique to Musk.

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